If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". 55. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. 17. [*clap your hands*]. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. 76. I really thought you already knew. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. - Anonymous. (Say it like he or. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. 19. "Hey You, I'm really good. (This line came from the cartoon show. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. *wink*. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. Did someone leave your cage open? Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! Your secrets are always safe with me. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. I agree, thanks for sharing. Dont get caught with nothing to say. I always root for the little guy. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. (Explained). "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. So, you changed your mind? Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. 16. This one is bound to get a laugh. Spiritually? Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Not Bad. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. Congratulations, sir. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". 5. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. 2. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. 83. and our Im in a relationship with myself. 18. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! Now you can be! Im single by choice. 4. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. Best 45 seconds of my life. 8. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? That's impossible. Im too expensive. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. 9. Follow for more funny content!! Nice outfit. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. 14. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. 10. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! 18. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 Shane from The L Word? Your hair looks great! While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? 15. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. *licks lips*. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." "You know I can do this anytime.". Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. 29. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. 1. No? When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". 11. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Im always there when I need me. He will be missed. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. 2. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. 6. 14. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. 10. 84. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Because if you are, youre doing it right. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. 53. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. 8. 3. 1. I like being single. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! He sold it to me on his deathbed. I only fall in love with anime characters. More like give me a sign that. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. 56. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. 65. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. There are nosy people everywhere! Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Just Smile And Nod Youll go far someday. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. 6. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. . Siri, why am I still single? Holy s**t, you can see me?! Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. Pick your struggle. You dont need to say it. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. 75. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Could have been worse, right. Well, are you? Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. My grandfather had a ton of these. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. Now that is pretty f****** funny. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Youre totally on the same page. Living the dream! Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. The government? 77. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. Me being single is just a conspiracy! If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. 52. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. There is plenty of room. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. My bad, its just your mouth. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Because Jamaican me crazy! It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. I just adore my own company. Checklists & Reminders! Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? This one is funny when you havent said anything. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". Sorry, life. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Could be payday. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. Reply. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Im not single. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. Steven Wright (comedian). Best "How Are You?" Answers. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. Keep calm and be awesome. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. Physically? You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. It's quite the accomplishment. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. However, I dont recall anything about morons. Its too small to be out there all alone. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. 80. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. 54. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. 9. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Don't Push It Too Far. Share the best GIFs now >>> Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Thank you Fred. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. 1. 32. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. Stupidity isnt a crime. Dave Barry (author). Were already married, remember?! Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Usually, people live and learn. Is everything stable at your end? Youre worse. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. Are you going to help me have a good day? Not everybody may appreciate them. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. *Siri activates front camera*. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. Heart-shattering. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. It's best part of the whole movie. I suggest you do a little soul searching. Mentally? You may join me, though. Is that a scar on your face? In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. I'm overqualified! 5. Most of the time, that is not true. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. 7. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! I always yawn when Im interested. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? My lawyer told me not to answer that question. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. provided, of course, that he really is dead." "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. Is your family tree a cactus? 3. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Who knows, they might just do it. How did you get here? Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". Life is up to something. She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Moving in with Roommates? What do you say when people ask you that? Click here for additional information. Call the police." 13 Quora User Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. All rights reserved. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Hanging on. If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. Not. But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. 10. Mentally? The police? 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. I'm loved! Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? They might even steal it to use in the future. I am not sure what you mean. 101. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Funny as phuck. You want to make them laugh, not yell. To text, most of us need our thumbs. 5. 90. I havent met the right one yet. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far.